I sometimes wonder what it must be like to see the world through Ted’s eyes. I mean, not from the literal perspective (super tall everything!), but more from his actual perspective. He seems so thrilled with life all the time, you know? He wakes excited, he spends his days excited, he goes to bed sleepy, but still, pretty darn excited! His tail has only stopped wagging for longer than about twenty minutes once in his whole life (when it was paralysed by a fall into freezing cold water, of all things!), and unless you try to take away his favourite toy, you’d be hard pressed to make him anything other than happy as a lamb!
It turns out though, seeing life from Teddy’s point of view, that is, from down at knee-height (via a camera strapped onto his back) does give you a pretty great understanding of how happy he is. I was hard pressed to find footage from all that we recorded from Teddycam that wasn’t so shaky it felt like being inside a washing machine (the above video is, if you can believe it, the most serene footage of the bunch!), and it’s clear as day, to me at least, that this bouncy little dog has a pretty well-developed sense of joie de vivre!
Here’s Ted’s perspective on it all…
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‘I’m awake. This is absolutely fantastic! I love being awake! Mornings are my favourite thing! I’m the first one awake again, so it’s handy that my people put a door with ridges on it in the kitchen because my claws make the most distinctive sound when I scratch on it, and it always sends someone running to open it for me.
Mum asks if I want my breakfast, so I look at her like the fool she is. I mean, have we even met before? Doesn’t she remember the time I did a wee on the floor when I was small because I got so excited about breakfast? (Mum says she likes breakfast too, but not as much as me. Obviously). Wonder what it’ll be this time. She said the word ‘biscuits’ so I think it’s biscuits, but if Dad’s not around she’ll probably give me a lick of yoghurt and an apple core too. Win.
Want to know what the main difference is between dogs and people? It’s that people haven’t learnt yet that it’s actually really easy to eat a whole bowl of food in three bites. You just have to be okay with choking a bit.
OUT. She said out, and out is my favourite thing! I knock over her wellies in my excitement, which is fine because we do it every morning and so it’s a game I think. Portal open- freedom is here! Run fast- bark at cat – surprise old person neighbour – arrive at car! Mum’s car is nice because it used to be cream but now it’s brown inside and smells of me, and she must really like it like that because it’s been ages since she made it not smell of me. She says she’s ‘given up caring’. I don’t know what she means. She tells me to get into the back, so I jump onto the front seat, and then onto her seat too whilst she’s walking round to get in. It’s fine because we do this every morning so it’s a game I think.
We’re at the forest, and now I’m *really* excited because this is my actual real favourite thing! A rude dog just barked at me, because I sat in front of its person to get her to give me a treat. She said no, which is also rude because usually when I sit nice I usually get treats from strangers. (Jokes on them, I knew how to sit when I was 8 weeks old. Puppy’s play. Give me something hard to do.) Mum said ‘sorry about him’ to them, which she says lots when we’re out. I don’t know why.
Here are three reasons why the forest is the best place on earth:
1. You can run really really fast everywhere and feel the wind in your ears.
2. The smells are fantastic. Second to none. Sheep, deer, pheasants- you name it, I can smell it here in these woods! The pheasant smells are my favourite smells.
3. The water here is the brownest and stinkiest of everywhere we go ‘out’, and Mum loves it too because she makes loud noises and big flapping hand movements when I jump into it. I think it’s her way of cheering me on.
A BALL. Some dogs are dumb and leave their tennis balls behind in the woods, and today’s my favourite day because I found one! Mum tries to get it out of my mouth so she can wave it in front of my face, then throw it all the way down the path like it’s some piece of garbage. The woman wouldn’t know quality if it slapped her in the face. Idiot.
The walk is over. I am forlorn.
The hose is being brought out, and I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Someone call the RSPCA, because I’m about to maltreated. The issue is that Mum clearly doesn’t appreciate how much effort I go to to gather smells when we’re out. I mean, I roll in dead stuff. I tread deliberately and carefully into the big mounds of horse poop. I eat things the smelliest things I come across. And for what! For her to wash it all away with horrible clean water when I get home? No thank you. I’m off, this is an injustice.
She caught me. I am now clean. Got my own back by shaking next to her laundry and running inside with wet paws. Sucker.
The best time of day (D.I.N.N.E.R.T.I.M.E) comes after nap time, so I sleep by Mum’s feet whilst she sits and ‘works’ all afternoon (yeah right, as if sitting and staring at a flat box with the light inside it is work). I spend the rest of my day barking at people who come and knock on my front door (how dare they), putting my toys on the sofa next to Mum to show her how fantastic they are, and making sure no-one steals the bone she gave me earlier because you can’t trust anyone and that’s a fact.
You know what? You should try this whole running-sniffing-chasing-eating-sleeping thing some time. It’s pretty great.’
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** This post was created in collaboration with PetPlan. Ted’s been insured with PetPlan since he was a pup, and we’ve always been impressed with their service.
