18.05

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You’ll have to forgive me the moment of indulgence in posting so many photos of my little girl with no real purpose, but I just love this photo set so very much!

She was playing ‘where’s the yoghurt raisin’ with my Mum the other day, and Grandma was asking Ottie to blow on her hand to make the magic work and the raisin appear. I just can’t get enough of her sweet face in these photos, looking so amazed by the trick she was making happen.

It really is so true, you get to experience the magic of childhood all over again though your own babies <3 Oh, and don’t mind Ottie’s crazy bedhead. She’d just woken from a nap, and point blank refuses to wear clips or bands in her hair!

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Also, it’s Friday! Where on earth did this week disappear to?! I’m planning a toddler-free shopping trip this Sunday with my Mum which (no offence Ottie…) I couldn’t be more excited for! Finding bump-friendly but non-maternity dresses is my quest- I honestly can’t find a single maternity dress I like the look of right now, so am planning on heading to H&M + Zara to see what I can find there. And given I’ll be leaving Ottie at home with Jason, I’ll be able to have a leisurely try-on session in the fitting rooms without rushing or singing Wind the Bobbin Up. Bliss!

I hope you have a lovely weekend!

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02.05

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This week is Maternal Mental Health Awareness week. I like to think I’ve been open in my sharing of my motherhood experiences, baring my soul at times about the joyful highs and tearful lows I’ve experienced over the past couple of years. To me, there’s nothing more powerful than talking about our experiences as parents- connecting with other mothers who are able to celebrate and console, relate and advise, all in equal measure.

We can’t help but feel pressure to achieve, achieve, achieve as women- aceing not only this motherhood gig but also simultaneously keeping up with work, ‘bossing it’ and ‘hustling’ and launching sideline start-ups, and staying fit and trim and looking like we never were even pregnant in the first place.

What I’ve learnt more than anything since becoming a mother is this:

It’s not possible to succeed at everything all the time.

The plate-spinning is relentless, and I feel I’m forever losing control of one thing or another at any one time. Either my work gets sidelined and Ottilie happily has my undivided attention all day long, or CBeebies goes on and suddenly I’ve got time to tick off my to-do list. In a week where I’ve managed to get the house cleaned and tidy and the laundry baskets emptied and the kitchen cupboards are full with ingredients for home cooked meals, you can bet your bottom dollar I won’t be making it out to any Pilates or yoga classes in the evenings because I’m just too shattered!

I’m learning that as mothers, we have to take care of ourselves as carefully as we do our precious children. Here’s to us <3

~ ~ ~

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1. Everyone’s experience is valid, but not all advice is appropriate.

By this I mean that whilst as a Mum you’ll undoubtedly be given an avalanche of tips and helpful anecdotal advice from other parents, but whilst the experiences of those giving the advice are always valuable in their own right, you yourself have every right to take it with a pinch of salt. ESPECIALLY in the early days, when the advice often is aimed at helping you get your nocturnal bundle of joy to appreciate the value of sleep, and the ‘breastmilk doesn’t fill them up enough so give a bottle of formula at bedtime/cosleeping is a rod for your own back’ type comments come in thick and fast!

2. Every baby and child really is unique.

And that uniqueness is apparent from before they’re even born! When I was pregnant with Ottilie, she would kick up a storm each night between about half 9 and half 11 in the evening. And then she was born, she used to be wide awake and ready to party at that exact time of the evening every single day!

In my opinion, the personality and will of a child is unique and individual and it’s all we can do as parents to nurture it. They all develop at their own predetermined rates- for example, at 19 months Ottie is stringing words together into little three or four word sentences, can count from 1-10 (though often forgets six and starts at 3!!), and blows my mind with her vocabulary. But she didn’t walk until 14 months, still trips over constantly and asks for help with going up and down the stairs even though she’s fully capable of doing it herself, and isn’t especially physically confident. I used to worry about her being slow to master physical skills, but now I’ve learnt to relax!

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3. The management of parental life admin can sometimes feel overwhelming.

I have these moments sometimes that make me feel really and truly like a Mum, and they’re always the silly, insignificant things. Cutting Ottilie’s nails so they aren’t too long and end up scratching her. Buying her new shoes when she’s grown out of the old ones (though probably noticing about two weeks late that she’s grown out of the old ones…). Keeping the house fully stocked with Calpol, nappies, and baby shampoo. Negotiating a sunhat and suntan lotion onto a reluctant toddler. Keeping an eye on her day’s intake of food- has she eaten a balanced diet, or subsisted on toast all day long?

These are the moments of parenting, the minutiae of making sure Ottilie is cared for and provided for in every single way, that make me feel most like a Mum and also sometimes overwhelm me with the responsibility of the job. It feels like my brain might burst sometimes, and I wonder if all parents feel like that or if I’m just still adjusting to my role as a parent?

4.You’re never. ever. alone.

You know you’re a parent when you utter the words ‘No Mummy doesn’t need help wiping, thank you’ whilst on the toilet…

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5. No food you ever serve your child will be as appetising as what’s on your plate.

We taught Ottie the word ‘share’, and now she uses back at us to request whatever we’re eating!

6. Bugs and colds and bouts of illness are just the worst…

Both for baby and you! There’s nothing quite like having to entertain an energetic toddler for 12 hours when you’ve got a raging migraine, and seeing your baby in pain is truly the worst thing in the world. Thank God for Calpol, is all I can say!

7. Having babies really does take it’s toll on your body!

During pregnancy I was super lucky and had allllll the good symptoms. Shiny, bouncy hair, strong nails, glowing skin, tons of energy. But afterwards I felt like a shell of a woman for months! Growing a baby for nine months, delivering them, and then supporting their growth through breastfeeding takes such a lot from your body, and it’s normal to feel depleted. Next time around I’m going to keep taking my vitamins, not give them up the second I give birth like a stupidly did after having Ottie!!

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8. Their joy is your joy!

It’s true what parents always say, that seeing your child happy is the best thing in the world. Treating Ottilie to a new book at the bookshop or a toy bake set for her pretend kitchen feels like a gift to myself! I even bought Ottie a pair of Peppa Pig slippers a couple of months ago despite my own pathological hatred of branded character clothing, because I knew she’d love them! That really is true love.

9. Other Mums are a lifeline.

There’s a generosity of spirit and sense of community amongst mothers that I think is truly unique. Our shared experiences make it so easy to connect and open conversation, and whether those conversations happen between you and your lifelong best friend, on your NCT group’s WhatsApp thread, or via Instagram DMs, it’s a special thing.

10. That rush of love at birth might take a while to come.

I did experience that initial rush of love for Ottilie, but then my overwhelming feeling in the hours that followed was just…of being overwhelmed!

It wasn’t until the following day, when I’d been taken down for an MRI scan on my spine to assess whether the epidural I’d had during labour had caused me permanent spinal damage (a real treat for a new mother, let me tell you!) that I suddenly was floored by a rush of love for Ottie and a desperate urge to be back with my baby so strong that I genuinely wondered whether I could crawl all the way back to the maternity unit rather than wait for a porter to come and push me back in the wheelchair. It’s to this day the most powerful feeling I’ve ever experienced.

11. You develop an encyclopaedic knowledge of nursery rhymes .

Though the fact that every rhyme time and playgroup I go to seems to sing a slightly different version of ‘Hop Little Bunnies’ does throw me for a loop.

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12. You might surprise yourself, as a parent.

I’ve always been an incredibly impatient person. If I can’t get something right straight away or achieve it immediately I’m just not interested, and I’ve got a fairly short temper too. But with Ottie, I’d say one of my strongest traits as a mother is how patient I am! Of course we have hard days and moments where I lose my cool after a week of constant tantrums, bribery and negotiations, but I never expected to learn to be this patient and calm as a mother. Now if only I could channel it into the rest of my life…

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10.01

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16 months felt like a lifetime away when Ottie was a little baby. A whole world of toddlerdom and next-level parenting that I, with a baby stuck to my chest 24/7 and a social life that consisted of leisurely afternoons spent chatting over cups of coffee with Mum friends in Starbucks, couldn’t even imagine belonging to.

And yet, here we are! Ottilie’s a real little person now- walking, talking, obsessed with babies and animals alike, stubborn as a mule (she gets that from Jason…and me too. Oops!), so incredibly sure of her likes and dislikes, always keen to share, and getting sweeter and more fun by the day. I thought today I’d share a little update of her, and of motherhood, at 16 months! More for myself and my own memories than anyone else really, so you’ll have to humour me…

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O N   T H E   G O .

Walking! It felt like it took Ottile aaaages so get her confidence with walking. She wasn’t ever keen to be stood up on her feet as a baby (she liked to sit, crawl, or more often than not just be carried around!!), and was a pretty reluctant walker even after she’d taken her first steps a couple of weeks after she turned one. It wasn’t until we moved to our new house midway through November that the walking really clicked, and she’s been off ever since! It’s something I’ve really noticed with Ottilie actually, that she takes a fair while to master a new physical skill. She was the exact same when it came to learning to crawl, she tried for a good couple of months before it finally happened. I think she’s naturally quite a cautious child, and doesn’t like to throw herself into something until she knows she can do it well. So it took a while, but we got there in the end! Talking however, is a whole other kettle of fish…

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H E L L O ?

I remember Ottilie turning to me at 7 months old and saying ‘Mama!’ clear as day, and thinking ‘no way, she can’t possibly be talking this young’, but when by 9 months she was saying about 10 or so clear words, it became pretty obvious that she’s a bit of a chatterbox! Now, at 16 months, she  parrots literally  e v e r y t h i n g   we say, and so we’ve learned to be very careful with our words around her!! She likes to sign ‘friends’ (which she learnt from our Sing and Sign classes…and also Mr Tumble!) and then list off all her favourite people! Her cousin Bea is always top of the list, as is her best friend Archie, and then then her Nanny and her Grandma and sometimes if we’re REALLY lucky, Mama and Dada make the list too! My favourite, favourite thing she’s learnt so far is to ‘sing’ happy birthday, and it made my year when she sang me ‘happyooooo doo Mama’ on my birthday just before Christmas! She’s started stringing two or three words together, and still uses baby signing to communicate a lot too. It’s been the best thing I ever did with her, I’d recommend Sing and Sign to any new Mum!

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Y U M !

Ottie’s generally always been a very good eater, always happy to try new foods and fairly adventurous with what she’ll eat. She’s been through a few fussy phases, but over the last couple of months seems to have become really clear on what she does and doesn’t like, and found her appetite! At the moment she’s a bottomless pit of hunger, and likes to tuck into whatever she sees me eating as well as her own meals and snacks all day long. At breakfast time she tends to eat either avocado toast or a bowl of porridge or bircher muesli (I like bircher as it means I can sneak yoghurt into her diet, one thing she outright hates on its own!), lunch might be a bowl of pasta, some tofu chunks with veggies, or soup with added grains, and at dinner Ottie loves risotto, lasagne, noodles, mild curries, or a jacket potato with beans.

She asks for apples approximately 85 times a day (often the first thing she says in the morning is ‘apple?’) and last week decided that she’d rather share my slice of dark chocolate tart instead of eat the strawberry sorbet I’d ordered her as a treat whilst out for a meal! We both eat a vegan diet so I’m quite conscious of making sure she eats a very well rounded and balanced range of foods, and she takes a multivitamin each day added to a small amount of green smoothie or some watered down orange juice to make sure that she’s getting all the nutrients she needs! I’m actually planning on sharing some ‘What my toddler eats in a day’ type posts soon, just as soon as I get myself organised enough to take photos of each meal whilst I’ve got a hungry toddler whinging around my ankles ;)

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L E T ‘ S   P L A Y

I love watching Ottilie at play, it’s one of my favourite things. She’s never been a very independent baby, and still now usually wants my input into whatever toys or games she’s playing with. Her current favourite game? Organising! Ottie’s big into moving her toys (whether it be her blocks, wooden animals, musical instruments, or the contents of her tea party set) in and out of boxes, from one neat pile to another, or from the sofa to the coffee table and back again! It makes me laugh every time!

Her other true love is her baby dolls- oh does my baby love her babies! I’d held off buying one as I was keen not to do the whole ‘little girls need a baby doll to play with’ thing, but when she made a beeline for them every time we visited her Nanny and tried to put one she was given to play with at our singing class into my change bag to take home, I figured it was about time to buy Ottie her very own baby doll! She likes to feed them with one of her old bottles, cover them with a blanket, and smother them in kisses and cuddles. It melts my heart <3

O T T I L I E   L I K E S . . .

Feeding carrots to the horses in the yard over from our house. Singing songs at playgroup, especially ‘Hop Little Bunnies’…though the hopping is more of a knee bend as we’ve not quite learnt to jump yet! Apples, bananas, avocados, blueberries…basically anything sweet or creamy. Playdates with her cousin Bea. Watching Mr Tumble, or Hey Duggee. Popcorn. When the sheep next to our house come right up to the fence and say hello. Throwing seed out for the birds. Rubbing the paws of her giraffe comforter on her face (and sniffing them too!). Being carried around by her Mama. Emptying out the contents of the kitchen cupboards, and playing with her own mini kitchen too. Being allowed to carry the feather duster around the house. Jumping in from the side of the swimming pool.

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O T T I L I E   D I S L I K E S . . .

Having her teeth brushed. Being encouraged to eat yoghurt, or carrots. Hair wash night. Being put down when she’s hungry or tired or just doesn’t want to be put down, thank you very much. Being barged by the dogs. Having her hands covered over by gloves or the sleeves of her coat. Having cold hands whilst out on dog walks.

So that’s my baby girl! The last year and a bit have been the best whirlwind, and it’s getting more fun by the day. I can’t wait to see what the year ahead will bring!

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I’m wearing: Silk spotty blouse – c/o Boden, FatFace Midwash Skinnies (my FAVOURITE jeans ever!)

Some of our current favourite toys + baby clothes:

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21.08

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Of all the Big Purchases that are necessitated by the impending arrival of a baby, none seem quite so daunting as the carseat-pushchair combo. Between the terminology that you feel you need a dictionary to decipher (i-size, travel system, ISOfix, 3 vs. 5 point harnesses…), the endless options available each offering a myriad of differing functions, and the fact that these will likely be some of the most expensive purchases you’ll make for your little one, it’s hard to know where to look first!

Now, as you know, throughout this year I’m working with Graco, and so am lucky enough to be getting to road test a selection from their range of thoughtfully-designed, stylish products. Ace, for a Mum who a mere year ago was totally flummoxed by the whole carseat-pushchair shopping experience and had more than one (largely hormonal, let’s be honest) meltdown over the issue!

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Let’s talk car seats, first…

Now, it might just be that Ottilie isn’t the greatest road trip lover in the world (you know the old ‘put baby in the car to get them to sleep’ advice? Yeah, that was never our game!!), but she hated the car seat we’d bought for her as a newborn from the very first time we put her in it at 36 hours old, and has done pretty much ever since. Compared with many of the other car seats I saw my friends using, in ours Ottilie seemed so scrunched up and uncomfy. In fact, we’ve been so unhappy with it that we’d already decided to replace it with a different model for baby number #2! (<< not a pregnancy announcement, FYI…)

Enter, the Graco Snugride! I didn’t think I could ever get excited about a car seat, and yet here we are! This genius bit of baby kit is iSize compliant (meaning it meets the government regulations for rear facing car seats), and unlike the 9-12 month lifespan of most other car seats designed to take a newborn baby, this one goes from birth to 18 months!

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The seat glides through seven different reclining settings on its ISOfix base, meaning that you can move your baby into a more upright position as they grow and want to see more of the world around them. Ottilie seems so happy to be sitting in a higher, more upright position, and the five point harness feels snug and secure when she’s strapped in. Top marks all round!

Oh, and Jason was dead impressed by the in-built kick board, designed to save your car’s seats from little dirty shoes!

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^^ Ottilie didn’t want to be kissed just at this moment. Can you tell? ;) ^^

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Over the weekend Jason, Ottie and I whizzed out to a local village to give the Graco Evo XT a road test, and it didn’t disappoint.

It’s smooth as butter to push (my TOP criteria- whilst doing the patented ParentMultiTaskJuggle you so often wind up pushing buggies one-handed and so steerability is king!!), collapses with just one simple movement, and we need to talk about that huge old shopping basket. It’s seriously dreamy, I mean, we could fit both dogs in there I swear.

I’ve learnt since Ottilie was born that having a decent sized shopping basket on your pushchair is vital- I mean, who knew carrying nappies, wipes, multiple outfits for both you and baby, a spare raincoat and sunhat, suntan lotion and an umbrella, several toys, 3 tupperware boxes full of food, a pack of breadsticks, the library books you should’ve returned three weeks ago, and the parcel you keep meaning to drop into the post office would take up a lot of space? And so having space to cart around all those essentials in the base of your pushchair rather than trying to cram them all pell-mell into your change bag is a total game-changer!!

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I’ve also been so impressed with how durable the material covers of the Evo are- with our pushchairs having to share car boot-space with two (often very muddy) spaniels, we’re big fans of anything wipe clean! And with the ClickConnect feature, allowing you to clip the Snugride carseat straight onto the chassis without needing to fit any extra adaptors, it really is so easy to use.

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The Snugride car seat, ISOfix base, and Evo XT pushchair together come in at around the £800 mark, which I think is a complete steal for such carefully designed, adaptable products that’ve been created with longevity of use in mind. In short, I’m a total convert and am so glad to be able to recommend them!

~ This post is part of my ongoing collaboration with Graco. Thank you for supporting the sponsored content that makes Cider with Rosie possible! ~

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