once upon a time, there was a little cat named alfie. he was a delightful little cat, apart from one unfortunate but entirely instinctive habit. alfie was a rather prolific hunter, and was once even known to have caught a pigeon weighing at least half his body weight, carried it up and over a two metre high fence, and dumped it proudly on his ungrateful owners’ lawn.

now, two days ago, little alfred was seen playing with the tiniest baby mouse you ever did see. he was quite furious when this new toy was taken from him and allowed to escape into the undergrowth, and so he decided that he would take revenge at the next possible opportunity.

so on monday morning when his ma was running really quite late for work, he caught a huge mouse at least three times the size of the previous one, played with it until he got her attention, and then ran away with it in his mouth. he then killed it, popped it on the lawn right on the spot where she had taken away his last mouse, and ate its face. and noone lived happily ever after.